Training Session in Valga

Hey there! Four straight sunny days and some of them spent in Vidrike, Valga, Otepää and Tartu. Think we had a great day yesterday with the team in Valga doing a short training sessions for youngsters and a few youth workers. Time went really fast and seemed trainers could have shared more than there was time planned for them.

Living together with people from 10 different countries for more than a week, discussing predjudices and stereotypes, observing others made me appreciate being present in the moment. Time slowed down, noise disappeared. Personally, it was a time to look into myself and rediscover my core that had been covered in so much bullshit over the last few years. Namely, I had built a wall thick enough around my heart, so that nothing could get in unless I was ready. The wall is still there but time spent in Vidrike has punched a few cracks in it and fragile rays of light sneek into my heart.

Looking back, I’ve been pretty good at building superficial relationships cause I didn’t want to get close to anyone or anything. Didn’t want to reveal myself, my thoughts, desires, fears. Though, I love to hear people sharing their doubts and fears with me I didn’t see why they hadn’t done it. And it struck me - what you give is what you get. I didn’t contribute but I expected others to do it (no input, no output). Can’t say I’m super great at sharing a piece of me after a week in Vidrike but I decided to practice it every day. Feels like I’m peeling off layers of dark matter one by one to get back to self.

I already miss the people I got to know during those days, I miss that house away from our everyday lives. And being away was a time I needed to forget the obligations and tasks, the fast pace of life. We all took some time off. And honestly, I didn’t have high expectations from helping to set out that training session cause I had imagined I’d just get in, do my job and get out. Like a “mechanic” with an itchy trigger finger. But then some things started to get to me and I realized others are vulnerable and fragile, too. Just like me. Although, I somewhat regret not engaging myself into conversations and getting to know participants more… only thing I know is I’m learning from that experience and growing (and growing always hurts) ,that I could be the best I can be for days to come.

The above picture was made in Valga with one third of our whole group. Lots of people attended, mostly high schoolers to whom the topic might have been a bit heavy to grasp. So, the experience group got from being trainers themselves could have had a better effect with a group slightly more experienced. Therefore, discussions were rather casual at some point with a few exceptions that struck the core. However, feedback at the end of the session was honest, 100% right and very good for the group. And I’m glad it didn’t work out perfect, otherwise our group wouldn’t have had anything to learn from. I am so proud of everyone in Valga, my big thanks goes out to Stella, Serhan, Alexa, Jalal, Michel, Ieva and Csaba!!!